I’m going to admit that at times, I have experienced hurt, often because of my own actions or thoughts. Many times, I was just worrying too much. On other occasions, I was paying for the damage I inflicted on my relationships with my friends. However, I’ve had help since starting high school in specific matters in life – especially crushes. Some of these people were adults in my life, but a few of them were also peers. I’ve learned quite a bit from my friends as they’ve challenged me to act in the right way. While having an older accountability partner is important for spiritual growth, having a few godly friends to help you live according to God’s Word and in a way that is not hurtful to others is also just as significant but in often different ways.
The first way that God uses godly friends is in encouragement in the faith. If you need prayer, friends can pray with you. When two or more people gather in the name of Jesus, God is in the midst. When you are feeling down, friends can also give you consolation and advice from the Word of God. From my experience, I know that prayer and calling upon the Lord helps one feel better. As I’ve felt uncomfortable or bothered by some sort of event, I’ve asked others to pray for and with me. In other experiences, I’ve grown closer to my friends and helped them in understanding the Word and encouraging them in their faith.
Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:19-20
The second way that God uses peers, which is tied into the first, is avoiding evil. We’ve all heard about how peer pressure is demeaning and wrong. While peer pressure can lead us into sinful situations, godly encouragement is a necessity in a Christian’s life. If you are ever tempted into sinning, peers can help you to stay on the straight and narrow path. Remember that you need to keep your heart open to correction and rebuke. When you advise a friend, don’t be offended if your friend doesn’t accept your help. Just let it go and move on but remember to keep praying.
The righteous man is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26 (AMP)
The third way that God uses godly peers is in general advice and support. You may not think of general advice as something that God uses simply because it does not necessarily mention God. However, this support is quite important. Sometimes I need help in the way that I communicate with others, and God has used a couple of my wonderful friends when I need this support. In some cases, I ask my friends for their opinions on certain matters and take that into account in my decision making. At times, when I’m upset, I’ll go to a friend I know I can trust and listen to what they have to say – even if it’s not what I want to hear. If you need help, I encourage you to go to your friends for help (be careful and remember that some circumstances are better with your parents/accountability partner).
Listen to counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, That you may be wise in the time to come. Proverbs 19:20 (AMP)
When you make friends, be wise with whom you become acquainted. Earlier, I mentioned that godly friends will help you to stay on the path of righteousness. On the other hand, evil friends will lead you astray. While I am strong in my faith and my beliefs, I have at times followed pursuit in activities I shouldn’t have. Be careful about with whom you hang out! Your closest friends need to be Christians who will not drag you into evil. I don’t care if you are the wisest man on earth. If you spend all your time around wicked people, your values will be corrupted as you let your guard down. Solomon, who was the wisest man to ever live, had seven-hundred wives and three-hundred concubines, and his wives led him into idolatry and a cold love for God. While you need to have non-believers as friends to witness to them, don’t take certain advice from them or have them as your closest friends. Befriend people of the world to be a witness, but limit how much they can speak into your life!
Of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 1 Kings 11:2-3
And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Mark 2:16-17
I’d be a liar if I told you that relationships with your closest friends are always without conflict or at least major ones. When I came to into high school, I started to build close friendships that I never had in middle school. In these two years of high school, certain friendships have also fallen into a state of hurt and near destruction. Whether I caused it or not, these friendships are going to take time to heal. Some of these people were once closer to me than many others. Now I need to trust in God that everything is in control.
Last year, I wrote “How to Deal with Upsetting and Uncomfortable Situations” regarding what to do when someone has hurt you. Here’s what I said: “One step that is often forgotten is to talk to the person with whom you have the trouble. From my experience, this can be quite difficult, and I understand why people have often not come to me in such circumstances. However, talking to the person and working everything out can end the conflict and restore and/or build a relationship… if you can talk to the person, you may receive a negative response. If you receive a negative response, there is not much to do but to pray for the person who hurt you.” You are going to have friendship problems in your relationships, but if you can, fight for the friendship in God’s power. Fight in prayer and when the time is right, work everything out.
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Matthew 5:23
At times, you will just have to accept that a friendship is gone; you won’t be able to make amends. Pray to God about it; and if He tells you to move on, shake off the dust from your feet. Evaluate everything that happened and learn from your mistakes. When the Lord brings new friends into your life, change how you act to become a more caring and loving friend. In some of these friendships, we are going to have to distance ourselves in communication, at least for a while. It hurts and has hurt, but I know that God will work everything out for His glory and for my good. The Bible also says that there is a time for everything, and that means that there are also seasons for specific friends – whether that friend is for multiple seasons, your whole life, or only a short while.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. Romans 8:28-30
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; … Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Lastly, you must also be a godly friend to others. While all these verses talk about your friends, they also apply to your friends’ friends, and you are one of those friends. When God calls you to be a person’s friend, set an example for him and be a godly influence. When you may be dealing with a trial, your friend may also be dealing with a hardship too. In cases such as this, it is important to help your friend as best you can to respond godly. In addition to this, just as much as friends are called to you for seasons, you will be called to friends for certain seasons too. God calls friends to each other. So always be there for your friends!
God did not call us to live life alone, which is why He gave us friends, acquaintances, a (future) spouse, etc. As we spend time with our friends, they will influence us, which means that we must make sure that our closest friends are Christians. Godly friends will encourage us to trust in the Lord and with advice in general. While we should have non-believer friends to show them Christ, they should never be as close as the Christian friends in our inner circle. When God calls friends to you for a certain season or seasons, be there for them as you are also called to them. Love the friends you have now and cherish them. Be there for them for as long as you are called to each other, and always show them the love of God.
Have a great day!
COMMITTING TO GOD’S GRACE AND LOVE,
Jeremiah Yonemura
